As the title might indicate this is an obscenity-laced little (158 page) book that is refreshing and hilarious. It’s PC to speak thus-and-so but it is also duplicitous if you are thinking or acting otherwise. Justin Halpern’s father lectures on Nuclear Medicine to oncologists at UCSD but his vocabulary, frankness and delivery at home are straight from the hardscrabble Kentucky farm he was raised on:
“Jesus Christ, one fucking Snickers bar, and you’re turning around like your asshole is on fire. Okay, outside you go. Don’t come back in until you are ready to sleep or shit.
ON THE RIGHT TIME TO HAVE CHILDREN
“It’s never the right time to have children, but it’s always the right time for screwing. God’s not a dumbshit. He knows how it works.
ON MY SIXTH GRADE PARENT-TEACHER CONFERENCE
“I don’t think that teacher likes you, so I don’t like her. You ding off more shit than a pinball, but goddammit, you’re a good kid. She can go fuck herself.”
And so on….
Inspired by Justin’s wildly popular webpage this book is more than a string of salty anecdotes. A story arc (that ends with the publication of this book) is uncovered and an honest, unorthodox, idiosyncratic but ultimately successful way of raising children is revealed. And Justin, the child and target of most of these expletive-filled lessons appreciates—as a grown-up—all the love lurking behind the obscenities.
Enjoy the book.
Rob Loughran's 24th book "Walmart to Wolf House: Sonoma County Essays" is available in paperback and ebook now.