Friday, August 19, 2011

Adventures of an e-Book Bookie, 13 "10 Reasons a Paperback Book is better Than a Kindle (or Nook, etc.)"

1) You can read a paperback in the bathtub.

2) You can swat a mosquito with a paperback.

3) If you’re reading in bed and fall asleep a paperback doesn’t chip your tooth.

4) While backpacking you can use the cover, introduction, and boring parts for kindling. (A Kindle doesn't kindle.)

5) You can throw a paperback at your couch-scratching-cat and you don’t have to get a new Kindle or a new cat.

6) On a car trip you can’t give a Kindle to a teething baby to chew on.

7) You can’t drop a Kindle from your exercise bike, dust it off and continue reading.

8) Paperback, NO BATTERIES!!!

9) You can recycle a paperback.

10) You’d never loan your Kindle to your asshole brother-in-law.


Jane confides to her best friend after four Bloody Marys: “Bob was in such an odd mood last night. We planned to meet at a bar across town for a cocktail. I spent the afternoon shopping with the girls and I thought it might have been my fault because I was later than I promised, but he didn’t say anything about it. I really don’t remember doing anything to make him upset.

“We finished our drinks and ordered another round, but he was still acting a bit funny. I was getting worried; what was bothering him? Why was he mad at me? Is it me or something else? I asked him if he was upset with me, but he said no. In the car on the way back home, I said that I loved him and he put his arm around me. I didn’t know what the hell that meant because, you know, he didn’t say it back to me. We finally got home and I was wondering, for the first time in our marriage, if there were someone else. So I tried to get him to talk but he just turned on the TV. Reluctantly, I said I was going to bed. Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me and to my surprise, we made passionate love. But still, he seemed distracted. I wanted to confront him, but didn’t. So I cried myself to sleep. I don’t know what to do anymore. I really think he’s seeing someone else.” Jane pays, tips and leaves.

The same day Bob confides to his best friend after five beers: “I missed a ten point buck yesterday. He was standing in a clearing and I had three shots. Jesus Christ, I shoot like a drunk monkey! I felt pissed all day. I blew the chance of a lifetime. But what the hell, at least I got laid.”

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