Showing posts with label Bubba Caxton Books. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bubba Caxton Books. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

ADVENTURES OF AN E-BOOK BOOKIE 30: "MY NEW HERO: Harry Whittington"


Although I’m a self-proclaimed “E-BOOK BOOKIE” I must confess that I’ve only read five books on my Kindle. (Richard II, Lysistrata, The Art of War, Aesop’s Fables, and Richard Stark’s bleak and violent heist novel The Score.)

I much prefer the heft and feel and convenience (yes, convenience: no batteries, I can read on my exercise bike—without a fumble costing me $179.00—and I can read in the bathtub. And falling asleep while reading doesn’t result in a chipped tooth).

Blasphemer! Blasphemer!! Blasphemer!!!

Not really. E-books are the undeniable future and I cheer every new innovation and price reduction on Nooks and Tablets and Kindles.

So anyway Penny and I were doing one of our favorite things yesterday, rummaging through the shelves at “Paperbacks and More” in Santa Rosa, CA. Penny had a list and was on a mission and I was mildly searching for a good non-fiction title to read while I’m finishing up my latest novel Beautiful Lies.

When a book caught my eye.

It had the Black Lizard Books logo (always a good sign) and was a 1987 reissue of a 1959 novel A Ticket to Hell by Harry Whittington. I thumbed through the longish introduction, read the first page and bought it.

When I got home I read it.

This 128 page book has more twists and turns and satisfaction than any mystery/suspense book I've read in a long time. Terse, realistic dialog--not a set-up or a scene wasted. I was also delighted to learn that Harry Whittington has written over 150 novels.

Then I read the book’s breezy autobiographical introduction: “I Remember It Well” written by the author. I quote:

Questions most often asked: Why did you write a particular novel, how long did it take to write it, where’d you get the idea for it, and where do you get your ideas?

First, my story germs are contracted differently than those of the leading practitioners of suspense and mystery, and even western, writing. Several stellar-performer-writers have averred on TV and other public dais that they start to write with no idea where they’re going, or how their tale will resolve itself. One famous gentleman, writing for beginning writers, said he rewrote the ending of one book several times before making it come out right.

Despite the protestations of these best-selling writers, I personally find this lack of planning wasteful, unprofessional, and worst, even amateurish. Sometimes, I realize it’s said to sound artistic. Still it’s like setting out in a billion dollar shuttle for outer space with no flight plan. Head for the moon, but if you land on Mars, what the hell? It’s like a magician’s walking on stage without knowing if he will draw a rabbit a dove or anything at all out of his hat.

I usually start at the crisis, climax or dramatic denouement of my story, even if it’s sparked by some unusual scene, character, situation, or speculation. A story is not about “an innocent man framed by his own government” but how—with what special, carefully foreshadowed strength, skill, knowledge, or character trait—he overcomes this terrifying situation. This “planting” and a preconceived “emotional effect” which will gratify, shock and involve the reader is truly what the novel is all about....

I believe a good cabinet-maker can build a cabinet without rebuilding it forty-seven times. And I suggest he likely lays out his entire plan before he starts to build.

Having said this, I immediately stipulate that some of these writers who embark boldly with only nebulous idea, dramatic first scene or unusual character, have sold more books than Poe and I combined. I still hold to my battered barricades. I still don’t want to put myself in the untenable position where, when all else fails, I must resort to God in the machinery...

Souvabitch, that’s good advice.

I’ve read one of Harry Whittington’s 150 novels and I’m anxious to dig up and read a few more.

I wonder how many are on Kindle?

JOKE OF THE DAY

Have you heard about the new “Morning After’ pill for men?

It changes your bloodtype.



My middle-grade novel The Smartest Kid in Petaluma just appeared yesterday in ebook. Check it out at:

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/109504

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Adventures of an e-Book Bookie, 24: "This Little Piggy Went to Market"


I’ve been writing query letters for three weeks.

I found a shitload of online reviewers at several sites. They review anything and everything from GLBT Vegan Cookbooks to YA Christian Vampire/Slasher Porn (I’m joking yawl, please don’t take offense...)

If you need to garner some reviews to increase your book’s visibility check out these four sites:

Simon Royale’s List of Indie Reviewers

http://www.simon-royle.com/indie-reviewers/

The Book Blogger Directory

http://bookbloggerdirectory.wordpress.com/

The Official Indie Book Reviewer List: A Handy Reference Guide for Self-Published Authors and Small Publishers

https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&pid=gmail&attid=0.1&thid=132cab47d7a524ac&mt=application/pdf&url=https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui%3D2%26ik%3D9a4ab24926%26view%3Datt%26th%3D132cab47d7a524ac%26attid%3D0.1%26disp%3Dsafe%26zw&sig=AHIEtbS3OLkRD_P9B3OrBh6160J8ttlcaQ

And a Google.doc Spreadsheet entitled: Book Reviewers-Updated June 2011

https://spreadsheets.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AnjJ9uZ3TZ2mdGliem94UlZLZmhTTGJNWElpdm81Z2c&authkey=CL-y58MK&hl=en_US#gid=0

For the last 20 days I’ve been slogging through these lists:

1) Finding a reviewer who accepts ebooks in my genre

2) Checking the reviewers’ website to: A) See if they are still actively accepting manuscripts, and: B) Find their name so I could write a proper and personal query letter

3) Writing a query that corresponds precisely to the submission specs for review requests

4) Responding promptly and thoughtfully to everyone who turned you down, thanking them for their time

5) Following up—immediately—on requests for cover JPEGs or Bios or sample chapters

So in 20 days I wrote 132 personalized queries and sent another 14 in through eforms (see above: corresponds precisely to the submission specs for requested reviews) and I’ve had three requests for author interviews, one request to participate in a book giveaway (I donated 10 copies) and I have 15 people who have agreed to review my book. My first solicited review of Tantric Zoo (favorable) was posted today on Smashwords http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/76067

I spent a long, long time at the computer but I think 19/146 is a great average.

Which is missing the point entirely.

Malcolm Gladwell wrote in The Outliers: “Those three things—autonomy, complexity, and a connection between effort and reward—are, most people agree, the three qualities that work has to have if it is to be satisfying....Work that fulfills those three criteria is meaningful.”

With these last three weeks of work I feel that I’ve gotten a handle on how to succeed as an Indie author. (First-and-foremost-and-always-and-forever write the best book you can. Just because you CAN publish instantly doesn’t mean you SHOULD.) Everyone said (blogged): The key to success is to Brand Yourself/Social Media/Internet Presence.

These are vague terms caked with confusion and bullshit used by people who CAN’T tell you precisely what to do. (Except send them $40 to increase traffic to your site: “Guaranteed results at www.blahfuckingblah.com”)

I stumbled on what you and I—as Indie authors—should do: Follow the recipe outlined above. Write the query letters, scour the lists, and be gracious in your requests.

There are no parades. There are only late nights with the lists above. Alone and all by yourself but I find a certain symmetry and logic to that.

After all, that’s how we write our books.



SAMPLE QUERY LETTER:

Dear Liz:

Would you like to review a murder mystery that takes place in California wine country?

The name of the book is Tantric Zoo: A Bud Warhol Mystery

Published by Bubba Caxton Books: A Division of Foul Mouthed Bard Press

ISBN: 5-8000-5538-559

BLURB:

Tantric Zoo begins at a tantric sex couples retreat in 1987. Amid the cavorting and indulging and groping and exploring one of the campers ends up dead. The surviving campers bury the body and return to their lives.

Until 2008 when the body is discovered and forensic anthropologist Bud Warhol tracks the campers down. Bud finds the murderer but also discovers how two decades of guilt has altered and affected the lives of everyone involved with the Tantric Zoo.

“A rollicking good read.”

—Linda McCabe, author of Quest of the Warrior Maid

Rob Loughran has 22 books in print. His first novel High Steaks won the 2002 New Mystery Award. He lives in Windsor, CA. Check out his fiction and humor at:

www.robloughranbooks.com

www.lulu.com/rloughranjokes

A free copy is available on Smashwords: www.smashwords.com/profile/view/robloughranbooks with the coupon code pw23y (exp: 10/23/11)

Thanks,
Rob Loughran

______________________________________


JOKE OF THE DAY:

What’s the difference between a female optimist and a horny teenaged girl taking

a bath?

One has hope in her soul.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Adventures of an e-Book Bookie, 17: "OUCH!"


Jean Paul Richter said, “For sleep, riches and health to be truly enjoyed, they must be interrupted.” To Richter’s triumvirate I’d like to add “writing”.

Last Friday I tweaked my back.

It felt like a pinched nerve, the way the pain zipped THROBBED and then radiated throughout my lower back. I could walk, I could even put my own shoes and socks on. (The last time I injured my back—pulled muscle—I couldn’t even manage that first-grader’s feat.) I considered calling in sick to work (I’m a waiter) but the back actually felt better walking than sitting so I ate some cookies and ibuprofen and drove to work. I managed a shift with more discomfort than pain, returned home for more ibuprofen and cookies.

And woke up screaming a few hours later with back spasms.

Penny pulled me from bed and deposited me into a hot bath. From the bath I went for a walk and my back hurt, but it was doable as long as I was upright and walking. Sitting stiffly on a wooden chair was okay, so I watched a little college football on t.v. and went off to work. The stiffness—and pain—abated and returned repeatedly but there was one position that was excruciating and impossible.

Sitting at my desk leaned over the keyboard.

So except for some longhand writing at the dining room table on the aforementioned wooden chair I haven’t written for 10 days. I’m currently serializing my newest novel Tantric Zoo on Red Room (redroom.com/member/rob-loughran) but I do that seated (you guessed: wooden chair) with the keyboard on my lap. This is the first “real” writing I’ve done in a week-and-a-half.

Sonuvabitch, I missed it.

Don’t know why; don’t care to know why.

I just missed it.

The theme of this bloggity-bullshit-blog-blather (so far) has been how to publish and sell in the new e-format but these last, almost two weeks, when I haven’t been able to spend time in the company of all the perverts and murderers and rakes and whores and fuckers I write about have been miserable.

And right now (1:48 AM, PST) I can’t sleep, my back hurts, but it’s allowed me about 40 minutes at the keyboard so as to write another misguided installment of this bloggity-bullshit-blog-blather.

I feel pretty good, but please pass the cookies and ibuprofen....

JOKE OF THE DAY

Who is Al Qaida’s favorite football team?

The New York Jets.

www.robloughranbooks.com

Monday, August 1, 2011

Adventures of an e-Book Bookie, 8

ADVENTURES OF AN E-BOOK BOOKIE, 8

CAVEAT SCRIPTOR!

A local couple (Santa Rosa, CA) returned home from celebrating their 4th wedding anniversary to find an eviction notice pasted to the front door of the house they were renting. Turns out the landlord—who had sold the house the month before—collected an additional month’s rent because, “It was the only way I could afford to fix the house up to sell.”

Thief and liar; but I already used the word “landlord” so I’m redundant. (If I pissed off any landlords I apologize. I know the only reason anyone purchases a rental property is to magnanimously provide affordable housing for people who can’t scrape up a down payment.... but I digress.) The article about this ripoff concluded that renters should be as careful researching landlords as landlords are with renters.

Good advice that also applies to writers and publishers.

In 2009 I had a collection of short stories “What Happens When the World Doesn’t End?” published with Unlimited Publishing. The sales were poor—in truth I didn’t do anything to promote the book—and Unlimited Publishing quickly killed the project. They owed me some money (not much, but enough for a lunch out with my wife Penny) and I contacted them and they told me to contact Lulu Publishing. UP, it turns out, is more of a publisher in name than in fact. They don’t possess actual publishing capability; they subcontract through Print On Demand outlets like Lulu. (I think this, technically, makes them a book packager but what the hell.) So UP kicked me to Lulu who says they can’t pay me because: “Unfortunately because the book was not published with us on Lulu.com, we are unable to do anything with your previous royalties. All of the royalties that we pay must be associated with Lulu.com. I am sorry but I am unable to accommodate your request.” (from an email dated 8/1/11)

Sounds like d-d-double t-t-talk, but whatever. Business is business.

The funny part is I wasn’t surprised.

I sent “What Happens When the World Doesn’t End?” to UP as a test. I had heard about this new company through my writers club (www.redwoodwriters.org) and I was looking for a publisher for my murder mystery “Tantric Zoo”. I wanted TZ published but I didn’t want to throw the rights away to a fledgling/fly-by-night publisher. So I cobbled together a collection of short stories and sent them to UP. They accepted and published them. Did nothing to promote them (no surprise, I’m an unknown author) killed the book after one year and didn’t pay me my royalties. Of course I would have preferred my short story collection to sell, but it didn’t. That’s a fact, and I got screwed out of a few bucks by a smarmy little wanna-be “publisher”.

But I feel I won this confrontation because I tested UP with my short story collection and did NOT send them “Tantric Zoo”. (TZ has subsequently been published by Bubba Caxton Books and is available as a Kindle www.amazon.com/dp/B005EC6RAQ and various other e-book platforms at Smashwords. www.smashwords.com/profile/view/robloughranbooks )

Caveat Scriptor! Writer Beware!

If writers get screwed it’s the writers fault. There are oodles of unscrupulous agents and editing services and subsidy-publishers and vanity presses and self-publishing services that exist solely to prey on you because they know how hard you worked to write your book. They know time and blood; lifeforce and love went into the book’s creation and above all you want to see it in print.

Don’t let these unscrupulous knuckleheads, crumbs, and bastards take advantage of you.

Do your homework.

This is good advice, I’m certain Penny will remind me of that when she pays for our lunch out this week.

JOKE OF THE DAY

What’s brown and black and looks great on a lawyer?

A doberman.

_______________________________________________________

Rob Loughran lives in Windsor, CA. His collection of short stories has been edited (some stories dropped ; new ones added; others rewritten) and renamed “The Bartender” . Rob self-published it on Lulu.com so that he’s in the loop to receive royalties! Buy a copy ($9.26) or download a free PDF copy at: www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-bartender/14326325